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Kids watch this stuff! I would hope the adults watching this understand how so very VERY wrong it is, and would explain it to the younger viewers… ‘Johnny, if you see a lady passed out, that doesn’t make her free reign to do whatever you want, it means she may need help, and should be taken safely home. She is, in fact, the scum of the earth, and these actions aren’t blatantly sexism, misogynist, suggestive of date rape or punishable as sexual harassment, no no, they’re hilarious. So remember kids, if you see a lady all dolled up in make-up and skirts with loud gum chewing and a pink cell-phone, she’s very likely a despicable, putrid excuse for a human being and deserves to be drugged, tied to the roof of the car, thrown around, land in compromising positions, and left outside alone and unconscious all night with no medical attention whatsoever. Unconscious… and drugged, let’s remember… Drugged… She’s then left leaning against her front door all night. When they get to her house, Gru stops suddenly, causing Shannon to shoot off the roof head-first into another car, where she falls on her face again, with her legs sticking straight out, stuck between the two cars. But they decide the best way forward is to strap the unconscious lady to the roof of the car, face down with her ass sticking up in the air…. That would have been your cue to WRITE SOMETHING ELSE.Īnyways, so Gru realises the three of them will never fit in his car (these women are 5 inches wide each, THEY COULD HAVE SHARED THE SEAT.) Now, I would think the safest option would be for Lucy to hold Shannon in her lap or beside her or something so that everyone got a seatbelt. At least someone involved in writing this realised there was an air of ‘shouldn’t the cops be involved somewhere?’… yes, those were images of date rape dancing through your head.
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I can’t recall exactly, but I think they make her wave at him, so he thinks she’s fine I guess. Gru and Lucy then haul her out to the car, intending to take her home when a policemen spots them looking suspicious with this unconscious woman draped around them. Any unconscious woman dressed like that is drunk… obviously.Īnd of COURSE the dart hit her in the bum, where the hell else would it hit her?!?! NOT AT ALL SUGGESTIVE GUYS. Lucy lies to the waiter that Shannon doesn’t hate the food, she’s just drunk. This brought to you from the fine people at Illumination Entertainment… who I honestly thought were better than this.Īctually, it gets a million times worse! We haven’t even talked about what actually HAPPENS to Shannon yet!Īfter she freaks out that Gru had the nerve to wear a wig, because UGH false men, Lucy shoots her with a drugged dart and she falls face-first into her food, unconscious. To sum up, ladies who wear tight low-cut dresses with animal print and super high-heeled shoes with gallons of make up are shallow, immature, slimy trollops officially deemed by the internet as the scum of the earth. (REALLY hoping people are catching my sarcasm here, because I’m told it never comes through in my writing…) It’s like the slimiest reaches of the internet took over the film for a day and someone said ‘you what’s the shits? Women who wear too much make-up.’ Because women who wear lots of make-up are whore-bags… naturally. They plastered her face with make-up, thinking this would make her appear shallower apparently.
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They even gave her that cheetah-… leopard print on her dress there, cuz haha cougars and OH MY GOD THE SHOES MATCH. Our lovely Shannon here, is of course a lady who talks a lot on dates (to Gru’s chagrin) and can’t STAND shallow men… which, based on the maturity of this film, I would assume was supposed to imply that she’s something of a hypocrite (because, see, women don’t dress like that unless they’re shallow whore-bags… right, yeah everyone knows that…) Unless of course, the filmmakers are going to establish that she may just like to dress like that and she’s actually a very deep and intricate woman, rendering all our preconceptions about her design and clothing irrelevant!īlonde hair, big red lips, bright pink eye shadow, nail polish, low cut tight fitting dress, busomy, entirely distracted by her bright pink cell-phone and did I mention she chews gum with her mouth open…? What? Done already? Huh… it’s almost like she’s a brazenly oversimplified stereotype or something…